Luckily, I have a penny.

Happiness is not a right, nor even a privilege.  It serves no social or economic class.  It is merely a state of mind.  Often fleeting.  Just because you were happy yesterday there is no guarantee you will be happy today or ever again for that matter.  Depression can grab you and its grip can be firm.  It's easy to continually ride in the rut we made days prior.  It takes conscious effort and strength to pull yourself from the den you have made.  Luckily, I have a penny.

Happiness is a choice.  A choice you must keep actively choosing. First you must want to be happy.  Right, who doesn't want to be happy?  Well, happiness like it's cousin Love is scary.  Like the first descent of a roller coaster.  Scary but Thrilling!  Happiness like Depression is addictive.  For those that have lived in depression for so long anything else, even happiness, is unknown and therefore scary.  Breaking through to the other side can be difficult.  Like all addictions, the second step is choosing to change.  The first being, admittance.  Luckily, I have a penny.

I have decided to be happy, I must also continue in every moment, again decide to be happy.  This is the hurdle that so many flub.  They want to change, they even chose to change but it is the requirement that they must keep choosing that wears them down and out.  So, I have deployed a physical queue to remind me to actively keep pursuing happiness.  Luckily, I have a penny (in my shoe).  And with every step, I am reminded to keep rolling down hill.

If you don't have a penny a small paperclip or pebble will do but don't make yourself miserable with too big of a reminder.

Editing as a means to Increasing True Self

The process of editing to most, feels like cheating, especially when we put it in the context of seeking the Truth.  To most, Truth is only constructed honestly by including all parts.  This is often played out in the media when we are shown snippets of video only later to learn that the context was lost or distorted.  But the Truth can be diluted by the minutia.

An important part of my photographic art training was accepting editing.  Editing plays a huge role in photographic art.  Without it the gems would be diluted by a sea of accidents.  It was this proper editing that actually made the valuable pieces, just that, valuable.  The importance of absolute editing became clear when other students would pull my edited images from the trash and use them in their collages or other pieces.  This was a violation of my editing process.  Absolute editing meant the complete secrecy and ultimate destruction of all accidents.  Sadly, trust no one with accidents or they could be used in ways you never intended or worse don't believe to be true.

The Photographer does not feel dishonest by showing only their very best work.  In fact, they feel it is the editing that illuminates the Truth.  For them, Truth is not everything they capture but a mere fragment.  They must eliminate, in my case the bulk of the shots, to get at the Truth they was seeking.

As you know I have been weeding much this year, and this is too is editing.  I do it in pursuit of a garden that is direct and honest in its own presentation.  It has been sculpted.  My hand is ever present, everywhere you look.  And yet I hope it feels natural, effortless and beautiful (True).

Editing feels wrong and unnatural at first, you must learn to forgive and forget.  Allow yourself to believe that accidents, all though created, need to be uncreated.  Forgiveness is huge in seeking Truth (self).  You are not your past.  And as part of forgiveness you must let go as if it never happened.  Yes, that's right, Truth is partially found by editing and forgetting certain things.  For Truth is not a solid but a liquid that flows for each of us.  Truth is not something we can share with others but only find for ourselves.  Truth is, you naked, standing in front of a mirror surrounded by your best qualities and none of the bad.  The bad have been forgiven and forgotten.  Move on, you are someone new.  This is the most difficult part, Forgiving yourself.  Once you do that, it is already forgotten, for they are a coupled pair.

Your Truth is not the sum of all your experiences.  You experiences help influence who you are but your essence (Truth), right now at this very moment, does not have to bare the weight of all your accidents or all your successes.  Live in the now (no matter how much you may want not to) as the past grows distorted and cloudier by the second.  In this very moment and all moments, you are only all your best qualities, you are poor potential.  You are just born and pure.  You are True and Beautiful.  Believe this and you can live a multitude of lives always being who ever you want to be at that moment.